small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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