another moral hangover. fuck.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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