Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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