If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Randomize
