apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
