I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
