and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize