My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
