Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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