Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
