Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Randomize
