Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize