Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
