...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize