You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
