I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize