oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
