we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
