nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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