Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
