shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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