toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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