first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
