Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
