took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize