I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
