how can u be prego again
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
