And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
