I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Randomize
