also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We just shotgunned beers for America
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize