My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
