You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
