I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
