Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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