I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
