I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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