I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
