She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
