NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
