thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
