Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
