Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
