I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize