i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
