Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
