I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
and she was petting her beer can
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
