You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
