This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
