You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
