Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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