Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
