There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
