You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
is that a dick in a sweater?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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