Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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