it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
