I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
