Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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