apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
