she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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