I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I have feelings that need drinking.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
