I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
