She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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