just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
