The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You can't special order awesome
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize