Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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