I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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