She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
