The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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