As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
