If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
